Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Miracle of Laughter

I'm D.O.N.E work tomorrow! YAY! Can't wait for a week of SLEEP before school starts again. Last weekend my friend and mum started talking to me about what I want to do after graduation. My mum wants me to do a masters, she never got to do one cause she got married pretty early and she doesn't want me to face the same predicament. My friend wants me to apply to all these big companies so that there is a chance that me and her will work together...It's all kinda overwhelming I have to say. I still feel like there is so much time before I have to grow up...but there isn't. I like the comfort of education. Someone tells you what to do and if you do it right you get the due recognition. There is too much responsibility in the real world! I don't know if I am ready oh!

Something funny/weird happened yesterday. I made a conscious decision not to call K again after our conversation on Saturday. Not that I wanted to stop talking to him altogether, but I realised that calling him everyday was not gonna help me get over him. So yesterday I'm just sitting around contemplating going to bed. Its already after 10 at night, and my phone starts to ring. Imagine me utter SHOCK and SURPRISE when I check my phone display and it says "K Calling". The following dialogue followed.

Me: Hello? K?
K: Hi Timi, how are you?
Me: I've been good. Real good. You?
K: I'm good too. I just thought I should call since I haven't heard from you in a few days (4days).

Me: Oh really. I thought you said that we should stop talking to each other everyday.
K: Yes I know. I'm not saying we should. But we should call each other once in a while to check up on each other, you know to see how the other person is doing.
Me: OK, sorry oh. I will try to do that.
K: So how are you, you know, emotionally?
Me: I'm good. Very good. I think our last conversation was what I needed to sort my thoughts out. I'm doing quite well now.And yourself?
K: I am good.

There was more random small talk after that, but the whole conversation lasted less than 10minutes. I guess him calling shows that he misses me...and I am so glad that his effect on me is wearing off and I can be happy again without him. Thank you Lord!

I was feeling quite down the other day and I started blogging about how unfulfilled I felt. Like I look around at other people both younger and older than me living their lives to the fullest. It seems that everyone else has a reason to smile and laugh but me. Up until last year, I was always such a "content" soul. I would just settle for whatever my family or friends thought was best at the time. Over the last year or so though I have becoming more daring. I haven't bungee jumped or pierced anything, but baby steps, baby steps. Yesterday was a good day. I met with some friends and I was able to laugh. Really laugh. I think sometimes we try to find love in all the wrong places when it is waiting for us right around the corner. The "friends" that I haven't called much this summer hardly bother to check up on me. While my "acquaintances" making the effort to seek me out and put a smile on my face. I thank God for little miracle everyday. Today, the miracle of laughter overwhelms me. I have decided not to let little things bother me any more. God will always provide what he thinks we need, I know that for a fact. I encourage everyone to look inside themselves and find that thing that they think they are missing that they know would make their joy complete. Then look around you, and you will be surprised. What you are looking for is probably already right there next to you.

I know that my blog is very much like a dear diary type sturvs right now. That was never my intention. I intend to spice things up a little every now and then with a little somn somn. I'm working on something right now that I hope you guys will enjoy. It should be up tomorrow inshallah.


Confused Naija Girl said...

write what you want my dear! you dont have to feel the need to spice things up. I am glad youre moving past K. Come oh are you sure its not my K we are talking about. I joke I joke
take care babe

Phantomwriter said...

Like Confused said, write what you want. As for the job, it may seem scary but really its not all that. Same way we felt uni was a big deal or eve sec school. And also the grass is ALWAYS greener, there are those who envy your life too.

Alero said...

write as you please my dear! keep doing you

Daddy's Girl said...

"What you are looking for is probably already right there next to you." - so true...

AJIKE said...

U write well babe...this particular post is somewhat encouraging..

i mean the friends bit, felt like that lately, like people u don't expect are the one's showing the love...

it hurts though....

keep posting...xx