Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The end of a "Relation(friend)ship"

I was going to blog about a certain someone eventually, but I envisioned something a little more on the happy side. I'll get right into it.

I met a guy through a mutual friend while on holiday last month. Lets call this guy K. Truth be told our initial meeting was uncerimonial, but, long story short, we started to take a liking to each other as the holiday progressed. I made it very clear from the onset though that I was skeptical about any kind of relationship because of the distance, but he assured me that that would not be an issue. I CHOPPED!
Last night the following dialogue occurred.

K: You know, I feel like we are just friends now, I feel so comfortable with you.
Me: What do you mean.
K: Well I have been thinking, and I don't think this long distance relationship can really work.
Me: But we are not in a "relationship". I thought we were just talking.
K: Yes, I know, and I want us to keep talking but..
Me: ...but what?
K: I have been talking to me friends and they all say it will not work. You are too far away.
Me: I have also been talking to my friends and none of them have said anything like that.
K: You don't understand, sometimes I want to see you and I can't and it is starting to get frustrating. I am not a long distance kind of guy.
Me: But I thought you said that you were, that you last relationship was long distance?
K: Yes, but she wasn't as far away from me as you are. I could drive to where she was.
Me(starting to get a little peeved): So what you are saying is...
K: Please don't start getting mad. I am just trying to be realistic.
Me: OK, fine, so it cant work. So now what.
K: Nothing needs to change , we can still keep talking.
Me: Talking about what though? If we aren't trying to be in a relationship what is there to talk about? I can't waste my time like that.
K: So you think that have wasted your time.
Me: Well yes! You knew where I lived when you started toasting me and when I told you that it would be an issue you shoved it off. How else do you expect me to feel.
K: You put me under a lot of pressure Timi, always talking about marriage, I am not ready for all of that. My sister is not like that and she is older than you.
Me: And so? People are different. I want to get married early, maybe she doesn't.
K: So you wont talk to me again?
Me: Why should I?
K: I told...
Me: K, please just leave me alone OK.
K: But...

At this point I cut the phone. I don't even know how I slept last night. I have decided that men have serious issues. I was minding my own business when this guy came to disturb me oh, now he is talking like I initiated the whole thing. I don tire joh. I wont sit around and be played for a fool that's for sure. I am upset, mad and just straight confused! I really don't know how much more of this my heart can take oh. All these unserious men are really starting to get on my last nerve.

I am sad though, I really liked this guy. He seemed to understand me and was willing to be patient with me. He said some hurtful things last night though and a part of me is like I should just forget his ass. But another part thinks that I should call him and try to talk some sense into his thick skull...I dono what to!

So I called him. Fool that I am...I just made myself feel worse for a minute. The convo was exactly as it was yesterday...but I feel a little better now. I shed a few tears and that always helps. At least this conversation was civil. At the end he was like that I should call me him tonight. To which I replied "What for? I think we have said all that there is to say". He was then like what if he calls me and my answer was the same. Biko the man should leave me alone joh. He don talk his own finish wetin be his wahala? I can't keep "talking" to him like that. Its all good though, this might really be God working sha. I was thinking of making a trip to Naij for Christmas and to think I was not gonna go again because of him. Mehn I am going joh and I am going to rock the place! I am off to go and book my ticket...the best time to spend $$$ is when you are feeling down :D


IJEOMA said...

insecure twat is what he is. i hate men who cant decide what they want.. look at like this he may be doing you a favour in disguise

confused naija girl said...

i agree with ijeoma
cut him loose!

Daddy's Girl said...

Hmm... 'my sister is not like that'??!! What's that supposed to mean? Are you his sister? Gosh, men can be rather obtuse sometimes... and why do they always want to have their cake and eat it too? Yuck. It sounds like he really likes you though, and since you're into him, I think it might be worth it to try and talk things through and move things forward. At least you'll know you tried. But abeg, if you try small and it's not happening, then as they say, 'next!'... no be by force, please move on quickly to the next prospect.

Ubong Da said...

The best relationships are the ones left to develop naturally. Pressure on either party brings out unexpected results. I had the same problem with me first Girl friend andtwo can play the game. Read my blog for the full gist.

AIVY said...

some men get all scared when it gets to commitment. If you have to push him, then he's not ready. Its better when you let them make the commitment move on their own.
If u wanna know why men act in a certain way, you can read my blog. I did a post on guys and the whys? surrounding them and a certain guy dared to answer the interesting answers